


Working up the Nerve

by Alisontheperson



Category: Ao no Exorcist | Blue Exorcist
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Shitty One-shot, Sorta Romance But Not Really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-25
Updated: 2015-04-25
Packaged: 2018-03-25 17:49:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3819439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alisontheperson/pseuds/Alisontheperson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He sees him every day, but he can never work up the courage to tell him. Three simple words that he keeps trying to say, but they never come out. He's too afraid. Modern-day AU with some one-sided BonRin. Rated T for minor swearing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Working up the Nerve

It was a normal Monday morning, and Rin Okumura was busy in his apartment, getting ready for work. Rin had a summer job working at a small restaurant about thirty minutes away from his apartment. And being only a freshman in college, that meant that Rin had no money to buy a car. Rin also had very few friends. The few that he did have also did not have cars. That meant that Rin had to take the bus to get to work every weekday morning. Rin didn't really like the bus rides, but there was something that was almost always on the bus that made the rides worthwhile. Well, that's not entirely accurate.

It was more of a some _one_. And that someone was a tall, muscled boy named Ryuji Suguro. Rin sat near Ryuji almost every day on his way to work. Ryuji worked as a cashier at the grocery store a few blocks away from the restaurant that Rin worked at. Rin barely talked to Ryuji, but every time he did, Rin felt something. He could never really explain what the feeling was, just that it was pleasant. Whenever he would sit by Ryuji and hear his voice, Rin had that feeling. Every time Rin would hear him laugh at one of the stories Rin told of strange customers, Rin had that feeling. Sometimes, Rin would just get that feeling when he saw Ryuji smile. Even if the smile was directed at someone else, Rin just got that feeling whenever Ryuji smiled. Rin liked the feeling, it was... warm.

Rin, on his way out the door, stopped. He had been thinking about Ryuji, and how he felt around him, when a little voice in his head said  _love_. Love, Rin realized. That was what he felt for Ryuji. Love. He loved his voice, his laugh, his smile, him. He loved Ryuji Suguro, and Rin wanted to tell him. As Rin continued out the door to his apartment, he was silently hoping for a chance to tell Ryuji how he felt.

When Ryuji's stop came up, Rin gripped his knees in anticipation. As luck would have it, there were very few seats left on the bus that morning, and most of them were near Rin. Whenever that happened, Ryuji usually sat near him to talk. As the bus came to a stop, Rin's eyes glued themselves to the door of the bus, waiting to see the familiar face of the two-toned boy.

As Rin watched, he became increasingly worried. Then, when the final person got on and the bus doors closed, Rin nearly screamed his frustration. If he wasn't on the bus in the morning, then he wouldn't be on at all. Rin knew that Ryuji never rode the bus home, probably had a friend give him a ride or something. Today was the day he had wanted to tell the muscular boy how he really felt, and now he was going to have to wait! Rin sighed. He would just have to do it tomorrow.

Tuesday morning, and Rin Okumura was ready to tell Ryuji Suguro how he felt. Rin was rushing around his apartment, making sure he was ready for both work and his confession.

_Hair combed? Check. Teeth brushed, no bad breath? Check. Wallet? Check. Tie tied? Check. Okay, I'm ready._  Rin thought, going over his checklist in the mirror.

_I'm really gonna tell 'im today!_  Rin decide, walking out his apartment door to the bus stop.

It was only when Rin saw that familiar two-toned head that he started to get nervous. He started having doubts, second thoughts.

_What if he rejects me? What if he only sees me as a friend, or not even that? What if I'm just some guy he sometimes talks to on the bus? What if he's not even gay!_  Rin started to panic, thinking of all the many ways this could go wrong. When Ryuji sat down next to Rin, Rin had no idea what he was going to say.

"Mornin' Rin!" said Ryuji with a cheerful smile.  _Oh god, that smile._  Rin thought. He gulped.

"H-hi, R-Ryuji..." Rin stuttered.  _Damn it! You sound like a nervous schoolgirl with a crush! Get it together!_

"You okay Rin?" Ryuji asked. Rin gulped again.

"Yeah Ryuji, I'm fine." Rin said, trying his hardest to keep his stuttering in check. Ryuji smiled in relief, and proceeded to try to make idle chatter with Rin, like he did every time he sat by him. Rin smiled and went along with the chatter as though nothing was wrong, when inside, he was a whirlwind of emotions.

As Rin watched Ryuji smile and talk and laugh, Rin made a decision.

_Tomorrow. No thinking about it, and no second-guessing. Tomorrow, I tell him._

It was now Wednesday morning, the third morning in a row that Rin was planning on telling Ryuji how he really felt about him. Rin ran through the same checklist he had the morning before, and was out the door in no time.

Sitting on the bus, waiting for Ryuji's stop, was torture for Rin. Because the longer he waited, the longer he thought about it. The longer he thought about it, the more he second-guessed himself. The more he second-guessed himself, the more he doubted that this was a good idea.

It took Rin a while to realize that Ryuji's stop had come and gone, yet the boy was not sitting next to Rin.

_Is he not on again today!?_  Rin panicked, looking around to try to spot the boy.

_There!_  A few aisles in front of him, he spotted the unmistakable hair and head of Ryuji Suguro. Rin was about to get up and sit by him, when he realized that Ryuji was sitting by one of his other friends, Shima something-or-other. Rin decided against talking to Ryuji right then, wanting to save himself the embarrassment of confessing his feelings in front of one of the guy's friends.

Rin sighed.  _Guess I'll just have to try tomorrow. Again._

Thursday morning rolled around, and Rin went through the same routine he had the past two days. Check looks, check to make sure he had everything for work, eat breakfast, and run out the door to the bus stop.

_This time,_  Rin thought as he boarded the bus.  _This time I'll tell him, I really will!_  Rin said to himself.

Rin watched with growing anticipation as Ryuji boarded the bus, headed towards where Rin sat. Rin started to panic, his heart banging against his chest. Rin gulped as Ryuji sat down next to him and opened his mouth to speak, when he saw the look on Ryuji's face. He looked absolutely livid.

"Mornin' Ryuji. How're ya doin'?" Rin asked cautiously. Ryuji just grunted in response.

"M' fine." he said.

"Oh. Is something the matter, you look upset." Rin said, getting bolder.

"It's nothin'. Just havin' a shitting morning, y'know?" Ryuji said, angry look still on his face.

"Yeah, I get it." Rin said, and left the conversation at that. He could tell Ryuji was in a bad mood, and he didn't want to make it worse by confessing his love when Ryuji might not even be gay. Rin sat, head hanging, as he started planning again for his confession the next morning.

It was Friday morning, and Rin was ready. After doing everything in his morning routine, Rin was ready to finally tell Ryuji how he felt about him.

Boarding the bus, Rin steeled his nerves, getting ready for the arrival of Ryuji. When Ryuji sat down next to Rin, Rin stated blushing, considering what he was about to do.

"Oi, Rin. Something wrong? Your face is all red." Ryuji said, concern evident in his voice.

"Oh, uh... I'm fine, no worries!" Rin said brushing him off.

"Alright then." Ryuji responded, the traces of concern still on his face. Rin sighed as Ryuji turned his attention away from Rin's blush and onto some other topic, one Rin really wasn't paying attention to.

_Here goes nothing._ Rin thought.

"Umm, Ryuji?" Rin started.

"Yeah?" he said.

"There's something I wanted to ask you..." Rin trailed off.

"What is it?" Ryuji asked, the curiosity evident in his voice.

"I...I um..." Rin stuttered out.  _Damn, why am I doing this!? Just tell him, dumbass!_

"I was just... I was wondering if you have someone drive you home after work, 'cause you're never on the bus in the afternoons. I was just curious." Rin said. Ryuji gave him a confused look, but answered anyway.

"Yeah, my friend Konekomaru drives me." Ryuji responded.

"Ah, cool." was Rin's somewhat lame response. The two continued to talk about nothing in particular for the rest of the ride. And all the while, Rin was thinking.

_Ryuji really is a good friend. Whether he sees me the way I see him doesn't matter, as long as we're friends. And just sitting here, talking with him on theses bus rides is enough for me. Maybe I'll confess to him someday, but for now, I'll simple admire him from here. I'll listen to his voice, I'll laugh along side him, and I'll stare at that beautiful smile of his. Until I work up the nerve to confess, I will always consider Ryuji one of my best friends. And that's enough for me._

The End

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, yeah, I know. Shitty One-shot. But hey. This is my first One-shot. So yeah. Hope you enjoyed.


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